i heard....

Someone like you by Adele

This is my song at this sad moment in time. this song i such a slapped on the face for me, I guess Adele made this song really fit for me.. isn't it?? hehehe... That song i very real, i can really relate to every word of the lyrics.

Been fighting this feeling for almost a year already since the break-up from my long time relationship. I am really trying my very best to fight by moving forward and to get out from his shadow. Honestly it is not an easy task to do... it is a long and painful process.. Although how I wish that i will be okey then and forget him in just a snap of my finger but sad to say it's not. The pain still marks and still remains as a scar, but that's life... and all I have to do is accept it.. maybe because it is just God's will.. sometimes I used to question God several times.. Why? Why? and Why??? Why... Because God always gives me lots of challenges, burdens, pain: by giving me an incurable illness.. for being so useless to the people around me and by letting me love someone for a long time and just took him away eventually... ;(

I really wanted to give up BUT i keep on fighting for myself and for my family, i always took it as a God's challenge for me... maybe he is just giving me a test on how i fight to all this challenges in life.. I just took it in a positive way as maybe God has in-stored something for me that still i don't know and i need to know it myself either....

my questions: do have have to feel this?? have i done something wrong???

Let get back to Adele's song:

From this first lines: "I heard that you're settled down.. That you found a girl and you're married now, I heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things i didn't gave you"

--it sounds kinda funny but it really suits in me, his not yet married as of this moment but he will late this month in a few more days I HEARD. He has really found someone that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, someone better than me.. someone that is Perfectly Healthy and someone who could gave him something that i can't. I am happy that his wishes and dreams came to reality to his new found joy.

Down to the Chorus: "Never mind, I'll find someone like you... I wish nothing but the best for you, too.. Don't forget me I begged, I remember when you said, sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it Hurts instead".

--this is very true... (isang malaking check!) There is pain... not just pain but So Much Pain... because at this instant I am still not totally over him... it is really painful for me to know that his settling down when I am still in the process of moving on. I can't describe the agony that i felt.. I wanted to scream out loud.. i wanted to get mad but i can't... because i don't know to whom will i get mad... to him?? to the girl? to God?? or to myself?? but all i can do i cry ;( at this moment of infinity. all i have to do is cry to release this distress that i am feeling right now. all we have to do is just accept it because this is just my luck and it is my will. although it is really painful and a discomfort but we need to obtain and accept it.

I may sound bitter to others but this is really what i feel.. just wanted to release all the pain tat it has cause... you can't blame me because you don't know that pain that i have been through.. iv'e already given more than of my seven years and given my life, my all of me to someone that i wanted to call mine but runaway from me and gave his heart and love to someone else that he just known for just a short pan of time. As he said:"Naa lang man diay ka diri (Aklan) ngano karon lang ka niaabot". (referring to his new love) Maybe his thinking that he just wasted a long time with me but we did't end up at the end. hehehe.... it's ok!!

From the bottom of my broken-heart (britney spears?) hehehe... from the bottom of my heart i wish him well.. Best wishes to both of them on their up coming wedding and may they have a happy family with full of love. God Bless...

to someone like you: thank you so much for everything... i know that your love for me is so pure then... thank you for the inspiration, for the love, for the happiness, for the trips, for the lessons, for being my guardian and for the discipline; for letting me be with your wonderful family, for accepting me of who i was and Thank you for the wonderful memories together... it really break me into pieces to know that our love has gone but maybe it it just faith, it is my Faith.... Hope in time we could still end up as friends... not now but in God's perfect time.

Thank You So Much and Goodbye Tart!!! ;( (tears keep falling)

I also wanted to say thank you to your family for accepting me and welcoming me as part of your life and part of your family...♥♥